Now that you’re an Entrepreneur…

So you’ve decided to start a business, you are now officially an entrepreneur.

There are a few things you need to do straight away…

Business Cards

First up: business cards. Raised print, full colour, printed both sides is usually the best. Don’t stress over what to put as your job title. Just “Entrepreneur” will suffice.

You can get them printed for free from some companies as long as you don’t mind them advertising on the reverse.

This isn’t a bad thing – you can tell people they paid you to advertise on your card or say they’re one of your “sponsors”. It’s sort of true. More info on the topic of business cards here.

Getting to Eleventy Gajillion Followers

It’s now commonly accepted that the number of followers you have on Twitter is a good indicator of your worth as a human being.

To get lots of followers your Twitter profile is going to need a makeover. Make sure you use the word “guru” in there somewhere. If you’ve previously thought about starting other businesses you should probably describe yourself as a “serial entrepreneur” instead. Do also try to work in the phrase “thought leader” too for extra kudos.

You only have 140 characters, so perhaps the best thing to do is to create a Wikipedia entry for yourself (remember to write in the third person) and just put a link to that as your bio.

Once your profile is all set up, you need to follow anyone and everyone.

Look The Part

Buy an iPad, take it everywhere with you even if you don’t ever use it.

If you want to go all retro then you should probably also get a FiloFax. Make sure it’s monogrammed.

Telephones

Get a call answering service set up. That way you can use the phrase “your people should talk to my people”. Of course, when anyone calls you just have your answering service tell them that you’re “busy doing business”. Let them leave a message. However, don’t return the call – if it’s important then they’ll call back (and leave another message).

If you can upgrade to a Virtual Assistant instead of just an answering service then even better because then you’ll have someone to “manage your diary”

Speaking Opportunities

As you’re now a successful entrepreneur you should find yourself some speaking opportunities where you can stand in front of an admiring crowd of wannabes.

Remember not to refer to these events as “speaking opportunities” when you talk about them – they are “gigs”.

Name Drop

Drop in references to Bill, Steve and Mark at any given opportunity. If people ask who you’re talking about just look surprised and say, “oh, sorry – I mean Bill Gates/Steve Jobs/Mark Zuckerberg” .

It’s important that people know you’re on first name terms with these heavy hitters.

Get Out There!

There are networking events, conferences and entrepreneur meet-ups on most days/evenings. You should try to go to at least 17 a week.

Be warned that quite often at these events people seem to think their business is going to be of interest to you and they may try to talk about it. Don’t worry, at some point they’ll pause for breath at which point you can then start talking about you and your business.

Make sure they know about your guru status and the fact that you’re a thought leader. If they manage to start talking again then it’s time to hand over your business card and walk away.

Get Connected

Make sure you collect as many business cards as possible from all of those events you go to. It doesn’t matter whether you speak to the person who’s name is on the card – you’re just trying to get as many as possible. Discarded cards found on the floor or on the train are fair game too.

The reason for collecting all of these cards is so that you can connect to these people on LinkedIn as detailed here.

Or…

Alternatively, you could not bother with all of the above and just get your head down and crack on with building your business. Not as much fun though.

Inspiration Credit to @VeronicaPullen

http://www.atlascs.co.uk Simon Swords

You forgot to mention excessive partying which appears to be the norm for a lot of the entrepreneurs.
http://www.cleverco2e.com Dave H

Also… you need 3 phones.. Iphone, Blackberry and either Android or Win7 Mob. Then you must make sure your calendar syncs on all of them, plus outlook on your machine.. and your iPad, because you are that important.
http://www.virtuallysorted.com/ Caroline Wylie

Loved this one!!! Remember vividly in my early days coming across a company who spent most of their time:
1) Writing the business plan, a tome of about 40cm thick and best used as a doorstop – I mean would you read anything that long?
2) Changing the names on their business cards. So Executive Director of Widgets became Director Executive of Widgets then Executive (Director) (no widgets included). Each time these titles changed more business cards were printed and each had a tweak to the logo/layout barely perceptible but to the keenest eyes.
3) They required people on the team to “express support” by having all night brain storming sessions.

I always thought they were a lot more professional than me, but it all ended in tears when their tech guy got so annoyed that he sabotaged their website!!!

Can we remove the term “virtual assistant” being used as a diary keeper though? I’d like to see those phone services do what I do in a day!!! Not the same thing at all!

Caroline
http://www.quickgroup.com Richard Osborne

Although written in jest the message is not lost, but as I have an iPad I do use it to comment on great blog posts whilst on the train back home from a “gig” I have just been at with one of Bill’s colleagues in London.
http://www.woodyoulike.co.uk Karin H

You missed a few 😉
Pay loads to get your brand new website ranked high on every search engine (‘cos other guru’s tell you that’s the best way to get traffic)
Write the longest webpage every – vertical sales letter, spiced with testimonials, extra bonuses and of course a paypal button for all of your followers to purchase your unique guide on getting more twitter, facebook followers – or some other topic other “also-run” entrepreneurs are dying to read so they have the next idea/plan to ponder about, write about but never implement

😉 😉

Karin H (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business
http://www.mattchedit.com/Blog.aspx Matt Chatterley

And don’t forget that whenever you have to fill in a form that asks for your job title, you should put in something as pompous and important sounding as possible!

Or in the real world, maybe think “Um. What would be good here? I can kinda choose…”
http://www.massivemessage.co.uk MassiveMessage

I think being an ‘entrepreneur’ is a glamour tag for those who want to start a business. I think I am going to aim for ‘owner of a profitable business’, not quite as catchy but it’s where I want to be.

Recommend the book ‘Rework’ by the 37 Signals guys and they blitz the tag ‘entrepreneur’ and replace it with ‘STARTER’
http://Www.veronicapullen.co.uk Veronica Pullen

Haha! Thanks for the inspiration credit – that was a very funny conversation that has led to a long shopping list and numerous job titles for my partner

We can’t let this moment pass without mentioning the conference call though. Having to work odd hours because one must be involved with a conference call to a far flung destination is the success emblem of all emblems surely?

My favourite one though is getting a cab and referring to the driver as ‘my driver’! As in “my driver will drop me off” haha

Now I must get on. My driver is here to take me to a conference call!
http://www.paymo.biz Jan

The word entrepreneur is over-used and really annoying lately. Way too many people talking and too few actually doing stuff worthwhile.
I recommend this post too:
http://blog.jolieodell.com/2010/10/01/youre-not-an-entrepreneur/
@Reeb1981

This is quite simply brilliant, and a great way for me to end my week! Nice one.
http://www.realoasis.com Richard Boyd

Timely post Duane just did a gig with M$ on Tuesday – launch party for Fable 111, nice gig it was too.

Must get myself a follower on that thingy that you mentioned.
http://www.start-up-business.com Gill Millington

When I stop chuckling … your article immediately brought to mind, half a dozen such, espeically the ‘guru’ and ‘gigs’ references!
Martin Smallridge

Not forgetting to name drop how your head accountant has an in with the house of lords while hinting darkly about a shady past…
http://netaccountant.net Leo

I am not sure that Bill, Steve and Mark will be very impressed when I tell them about this post.

Another one of those would be to start giving business/marketing/strategy advice to everybody and anybody even if they are in a totally different market, and ESPECIALLY if they didn’t ask for it!
Rik Ellerby

HAHA This is the funniest and truest, though I am a little shallow I ordered an Ipad before I had read to the bottom……..
Pingback: Startup Mistakes to Avoid in 2011 + Xmas Gift for you KashFlow Accounting Software()
Pingback: Stop going around saying "I'm an Entrepreneur!"()
http://www.uksolarpanelshop.co.uk Mark Sadler

Did you mention having a blog? or even a ghost blogger to blog for you?

And of course anyone who provides you with a service, eg designing your leaflets becomes “Your designer” the list is endless, your techies, your web guys, etc

Anyway brilliant post – made me laugh!
Pingback: What People Think Entrepreneurs Actually Do()

UKStartups